Affirming What Is
The kind of acceptance I am wanting to cultivate is not an absence of desire or a dismissal of what is or is not. It is seeing clearly what is and what is not, along with acknowledging how I feel about it, and then coming to terms with it. In the process of coming to terms with what is or what is not, I need to access my feelings and beliefs through self-awareness.
Self-awareness feels foggy and intimidating when I do not have boundaries that affirm what is.
The following statements are affirming what is, so I can grow in my self-awareness within these affirmative boundaries, and therefore be less self-deceived.
- I can trust myself and others when I acknowledge and do not deny what I know, see, feel and hear.
- I acknowledge that I may never be totally without pain and suffering AND I can learn to protect and nurture myself. The two are not mutually exclusive
- I can take care of myself and it won’t kill others.
- My self-care is my business and my business will go bankrupt if I rob myself of self-care.
- My feelings have equal value as other people’s; not more and not less.
- Other people’s willingness and capacity to accept and love me for who I am is not my business to own. I am not responsible for running other people’s businesses.
- I can function even when I’m scared. I can be scared and uncertain, and still be OK.
- I can pause while feeling strong emotions, I do not always need to act immediately.
- I can know when it’s better to just sit in my emotions and ride them out, before acting on them.
- I know how my insides work best; what I need, what I perceive, what I intuit….when I listen and honor myself.
- I need to admit how much I needed them, before I can let go of needing them now.
- I can tell my shaming inner-parent, “Your message has been received, now shut-up!”
- In recovery, I can separate and individuate while still showing up for myself. All else will follow.
- First things first.
- My trust in God, myself and other safe people will grow.
- I no longer need to live in denial, because God has my back when it comes to acknowledging hard things.
- The more awake and present I am in the moment, the better I can take care of myself and others when I consciously choose to do so.
- My emotions cannot kill or harm anyone else, ever. My actions, however; may or may not.
- I can take ownership of my choices and feel empowered with the self-awareness I gain from doing so.
- I can hear criticism from others and perhaps extract beneficial information for my own recovery, without absorbing shame and unwarranted guilt.
- Most decisions I make are not life or death (even if they feel like it).
- If I’m having self-destructive thoughts, I can ask how my heart has been missed.
- My inner child has wounded/injured parts as well as healthy/strong parts. I can respect both.
- My pain is all I need as proof that I am hurting.
- I can learn to trust myself and ask for what I need.
- I can choose whom I will and will not let into my inner life.
- I can stop giving away my power to others out of fear, and take steps towards reclaiming my personal power.
- I can be present and sincerely listen to another share their raw pain and anger, without having to take responsibility for fixing or rescuing them from feeling their pain.
- I can always listen to my inner-child.
- Feeling deep abandonment pain is not self-hate or self-pity, it helps heal my inner-child.
- I can see that I have many options and choices.
- Getting well and becoming whole is the sweetest revenge!