This blog is my shared process in working towards integrating self-awareness with all other aspects of life, while on my way to becoming more authentic and whole.

Affirming What Is

truthAcceptance has been a missing piece in my life.  Self-acceptance and others-acceptance has not come easily for me.  The ramifications of that have been discontentment.

The kind of acceptance I am wanting to cultivate is not an absence of desire or a dismissal of what is or is not.  It is seeing clearly what is and what is not, along with acknowledging how I feel about it, and then coming to terms with it.  In the process of coming to terms with what is or what is not, I need to access my feelings and beliefs through self-awareness.

Self-awareness feels foggy and intimidating when I do not have boundaries that affirm what is.

The following statements are affirming what is, so I can grow in my self-awareness within these affirmative boundaries, and therefore be less self-deceived.

  • I can trust myself and others when I acknowledge and do not deny what I know, see, feel and hear.
  • I acknowledge that I may never be totally without pain and suffering AND I can learn to protect and nurture myself.  The two are not mutually exclusive
  • I can take care of myself and it won’t kill others.
  • My self-care is my business and my business will go bankrupt if I rob myself of self-care.
  • My feelings have equal value as other people’s; not more and not less.
  • Other people’s willingness and capacity to accept and love me for who I am is not my business to own.  I am not responsible for running other people’s businesses.
  • I can function even when I’m scared.  I can be scared and uncertain, and still be OK.
  • I can pause while feeling strong emotions, I do not always need to act immediately.
  • I can know when it’s better to just sit in my emotions and ride them out, before acting on them.
  • I know how my insides work best; what I need, what I perceive, what I intuit….when I listen and honor myself.
  • I need to admit how much I needed them, before I can let go of needing them now.
  • I can tell my shaming inner-parent, “Your message has been received, now shut-up!”
  • In recovery, I can separate and individuate while still showing up for myself.  All else will follow.
  • First things first.
  • My trust in God, myself and other safe people will grow.
  • I no longer need to live in denial, because God has my back when it comes to acknowledging hard things.
  • The more awake and present I am in the moment, the better I can take care of myself and others when I consciously choose to do so.
  • My emotions cannot kill or harm anyone else, ever.  My actions, however; may or may not.
  • I can take ownership of my choices and feel empowered with the self-awareness I gain from doing so.
  • I can hear criticism from others and perhaps extract beneficial information for my own recovery, without absorbing shame and unwarranted guilt.
  • Most decisions I make are not life or death (even if they feel like it).
  • If I’m having self-destructive thoughts, I can ask how my heart has been missed.
  • My inner child has wounded/injured parts as well as healthy/strong parts.  I can respect both.
  • My pain is all I need as proof that I am hurting.
  • I can learn to trust myself and ask for what I need.
  • I can choose whom I will and will not let into my inner life.
  • I can stop giving away my power to others out of fear, and take steps towards reclaiming my personal power.
  • I can be present and sincerely listen to another share their raw pain and anger, without having to take responsibility for fixing or rescuing them from feeling their pain.
  • I can always listen to my inner-child.
  • Feeling deep abandonment pain is not self-hate or self-pity, it helps heal my inner-child.
  • I can see that I have many options and choices.
  • Getting well and becoming whole is the sweetest revenge!

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