mindingmybiz

This blog is my shared process in working towards integrating self-awareness with all other aspects of life, while on my way to becoming more authentic and whole.

Archive for the tag “leadership”

Benefits of Rejection and Disapproval…

Allowing yourself to be on the receiving end of rejection and disapproval from some, while tolerating embracing your authentic expression from self-love is a transformational yet, intense internal workout. 

Expect to sweat. And yet – KEEP SHOWING UP.

Divine opportunities often present in crises.  You’re faced with a fork in the road. You can see your circumstance from a victim-standpoint swaying to the “Woe is Me” dirge, while indignantly blaming others. Or you can reclaim your personal power in making a conscious choice. Your move here matters. Therefore; you DO have power.

If you choose to remain a victim of life at least observe honestly. Ask yourself if you enjoy blame, shame, and playing the win/lose game with life, yourself, and others. And if so, for how long and at what cost?

If you want to reclaim your personal power, even if you currently feel as if your circumstances have flushed you down the toilet bowl, well then…grab hold of a plunger. Start to unclog the conspicuous beliefs inside which no longer serve you, and keep tripping you up or keep you bound up.  You don’t need to buy into these beliefs anymore my dear. Try imagining these beliefs about you and how the Universe operates being placed in “quotation marks” or ending with a question mark, instead of a period. Even if these beliefs did serve you at one point prior, push back a little. If they can withstand the present-day experiential litmus tests of serving your highest goals in life, keep them! If you’re not sure, ask yourself if you can see where buying into these beliefs has kept you protected on some level, but now; stuck in being stuck.

You can always numb out of from frustration until it’s unbearable because it won’t disappear unless you put a lot of energy into numbing out. Even, to the point of wanting to disappear right alongside of your emotions (some call this Depression). Or, let it energize and awaken you to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT, especially if it’s uncomfortable (some call this a Breakthrough).

I compassionately, and fiercely DARE you to STEP UP. STEP OUT of an anachronistic north star with self-preservation as the bottom-line, often selling out as staying small to avoid giving it your all.

Please, don’t sell out on yourself. Find YOUR CONSCIOUS North Star from within, and set sail. You are worth it, and your world needs uniquely you to live this one life you have, authentically. Which means, receiving rejection and disapproval as a benefit, freeing you up to receiving something greater than mere fickle approval and acceptance.

Someday, your soul will feel the quiet but clear “Thank you’s” from others for stepping outside of your comfort zone. And, your soul will thank you too.

Same Old… Same Old…

If you want the same old shit, then do the same old shit.  If not…listen up.

Denial thrives on blame.  Blame thrives on denial.  They work hard together to keep people successfully stuck.

If anyone wants to experience change that’s good for their soul, in any area of their lives, they’ve got to take up ownership in getting themselves closer to where they want to be.

Excuses and blame will never be in short-supply.  If you settle for excuses and blame, you settle for remaining stuck.  You’ve GOT to get passed excuses and blame if you want to avoid being stuck.

Movement.  Change needs movement.

Movement often needs to start with moving your thoughts and beliefs around, in a conscious awakened state.

What is it YOU are after?  Get clear on the “who” before getting clear on the “what”.  Do YOU want this?  Or is this coming from someone else who doesn’t live your life, but believes they know better how you should live your own life?  Big difference, you’re you — they’re not.

Now, after you sort out ownership of the desired change YOU are after, congratulate yourself.  You are stepping into your power by stepping into life ownership.  This may be a small step that nobody other than you will recognize, but it is a big deal.  Huge.  This is where your moxie will come from – life ownership.

Next – Ask yourself this, and wait for the answer from within…

Do you believe you are worth what you’re after?  If you do not, consider the possibility that you are settling for owning shame that is not yours.  Someone from somewhere, has projected their own shit onto you.  This most likely happened when you least expected or suspected it, or you wouldn’t have let it in.  Aka childhood or when someone you looked up to somehow mishandled your vulnerability, and therefore has kept you stuck without you even knowing it.  You’re getting yourself self-awareness, which launches you into self-empowerment.  You can’t change if you don’t have a sense of power.  Self-awareness and self-empowerment are musts in life, underlined with self-compassion.  Breathe.  These are biggies that most people struggle with in different degrees.  Find yourself a good therapist if you need support to sort through this because you ARE worth it.

Back to it, let’s not forget that you are after something good for your soul.

If you long for something to change to the point that it creates enough pain and dissatisfaction in your life without it changing, consider yourself officially: Invited

Invited to step it up in life.  Instead of focusing on things you feel you cannot do, focus on things you can do — today, tomorrow, or within the next few days.

Then – get busy.  Follow through.  If you know you have the tendency, more than not to “forget”, slack off, or trip up with excuses when it comes to delivery time – do yourself a well deserved favor and get yourself some kind of accountability partner.  This will up your chances of following through.  A requirement for accountability to work on your end is having humility and honesty.  Otherwise all bets are off.

If you need something more concrete, make yourself a plan of action in writing.  Even if it’s just one or two steps that are different than what you usually do, that’s enough to start with.  Most people need this concrete plan in the beginning, until there’s enough momentum to perpetuate the change you’re after.  Share it with someone you trust.

When you do follow through, no matter how small – tell somebody who can celebrate and congratulate you.  Recognize that force of pride welling up within you.  You earned that.  Keep doing what got you that feeling – by following through.

You can always re-evaluate your next steps.  You can always adjust, but make sure to keep your eyes on what you’re ultimately after.

Gradual steps for personal change make a difference.  And that is what you want –  a difference.  Change.  For something to change, something has to change.

Be compassionate and gracious with yourself, but be wholeheartedly committed to learning as you go, and keep moving forward.

Believe, conceive, and achieve.

You are worth it.  You really are.

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